My friend and former parishioner, Big Jim, had a rough time dealing with the death of his wife. Their marriage was like most from his generation. Following his service in the Army during World War II, he married his high school sweetheart, Mary Lou and settled in Pittsburgh, PA. He worked for US Steel while his wife stayed at home to raise their three children.

Throughout their 56 years of marriage, Big Jim and Mary Lou always had a garden. He would be in charge of planting the vegetables while she would take responsibility for the flowers. Their garden was the envy of the neighborhood. Family and friends would pay a visit just to admire the flowers in full bloom and hope for a juicy ripe tomato from the vegetable garden.

They enjoyed gardening immensely. It was a time when they could return to nature and work the soil. Big Jim would look up from his rows of tender young plants and shout to his wife, “Best therapy in the world.” Mary Lou would acknowledge his remark in her own witty way and both would have a good laugh. Every aspect of their outdoor activity, from planting little seedlings to the final harvest, made a difference in their life.

They accomplished something magical, almost unbelievable. So many factors were out of their control: rain, drought, heat, frost, and the neighbors' cats. It was a miracle that anything grew at all. Yet every year, their patience and persistence paid off. Fresh vegetables and fresh flowers adorned their table during the summer and early fall. In the late fall and winter, they read their gardening magazines and seed catalogs with a zeal and vigor of an army preparing for war. They looked forward to spring and the potential that awaited them limited only by their aches and pains.

When Mary Lou died, Big Jim was lost. Mary Lou was not only his wife, she was his gardening buddy. Soon after her death, Big Jim suffered a heart attack. He recovered, but was unable to keep the house so he moved to an assisted living facility. Although he loved the facility, the staff, and the quality of care, he missed his gardening, and he missed his gardening partner.

One day while visiting with him, I asked him what he liked best about gardening. He replied, “You put your hands in the soil, pull some weeds, hoe the plants, and you feel like you've got the world at your fingertips. I can feel that I've truly accomplished something when I get some seeds and some soil. I can make a difference in the world.”

Big Jim was absolutely right. Each of us can make a difference in the world. Since he was unable to work a full outdoor garden, I suggested that he take up patio gardening. We went out and purchased some plastic containers and soil. He planted two tomato plants for himself and spread a package of wild flowers in another container for his wife. Within days the seeds began to sprout. The seedlings grew into plants, and this made Big Jim very happy. “Every morning, I get my coffee and sit in my garden. I see these tomatoes and flowers, and somehow I feel Mary Lou's presence. And that brings renewed hope into these old bones.”

His patio garden was an instant success. Soon other residents asked him to demonstrate his clever gardening techniques to them. Before long, Big Jim was the “patio garden expert” at the facility, and began to offer special seminars to the residents on the finer points of patio gardening. Big Jim found renewed hope that first spring and continues to find hope with each spring. He discovered an activity that he and his wife enjoyed during their married life and transformed that activity into his new life without Mary Lou.

Spring is a time of transformation for all of us. As the snow slowly melts and the first signs of spring appear changes are taking place in nature. The first crocuses will soon emerge from the ground and send up their bright yellow blossoms. These changes in nature bring about a transformation from the gray, cold harshness of winter to the sudden burst of color that signals the arrival of spring. For those of us who enjoy tilling the soil, we will take out our seed packages and plant them with hopes of a beautiful and bountiful return.

Renewal is an important theme in life as well. Feelings of hope combined with the desire to move forward in life offer many of us an opportunity to work through the problems we face each and every day. The death of a loved one or close friend and the grief that follows can keep us from our own renewal. The desire to achieve change in our lives is not enough. We need a plan of action to guide our good intentions in a positive and forward direction. Activities such as gardening or even planting a window box can provide a healthy and positive avenue for bringing a sense of renewal into our lives.

This spring plan an activity in your life that will transform you and those around you. Enroll in projects and activities sponsored by the senior association or a local church. Get involved with some project that brings out your gifts and talents. In this way, you will feel better about yourself, have a positive influence on others around you, and reaffirm the belief that you make a difference.